Happy new year, friends. Each year, I scrap the idea of resolutions, choose a word that’s been tugging on my heart lately, and infuse it into a few goals across the various areas of my life. For 2018, I chose the word content, gently wrapped in a whole lot of (anxiously) anticipated “opportunities to practice contentment.” It wiggled its way into my spirit over the last few months, and now I’m committed to making it a part of this chapter of the journey.
Last year I started reading a few books that began whispering to slow down, to rest, to stop going, to stop pushing/perfecting/performing/people-pleasing and to just be. Friends who know me know I like to do a lot, and to do a lot really well, especially if it will help and serve others. However, over the summer I woke up to the fact that my accelerator has been broken for quite some time and though my intentions are sincere, the cost of overextending myself was becoming clear. While my little corner of the the world tends to celebrate and encourage and affirm these genuinely good outcomes from the hard word, the truth is I needed to reexamine the “why” behind what I was doing, the amount of what I was doing, and who I was doing these things for.
While I’m recognizing I can’t control what 2018 will hold (despite the illusion that I can), I am inviting more opportunities to practice being content. To be content. To be still and know. To trust. This isn’t a way to escape responsibility or what I consider important or worth fighting for…. it’s an invitation to slow down enough to pause, to turn inward, to quiet the distractions and lies, to practice contentment, and to reflect on each thing I say “yes” to and why. Is it because it is mine to do? Or is it to people-please… to avoid failure… to maintain “control”… or to escape judgement by ensuring everything is done perfectly? This feels vulnerable to admit, but I know I’m not the only one.
Happy new year to each of us. I am so grateful for the fresh start, and pray this year serves us and provides us exactly what we need at this point along our journey. For me, I’m praying for more contentment.